I think I’m at a unique age(29) where my ideals/values are strong but my body and mind is beginning to show signs of resistance. Now I did plenty of smoking up until two years ago when I quit after 13 years so this could be among many other negative impacts on health that can stack up over the years when you think you’re invincible… yet, this resistance has more to do with the difficult task of teaching an old(I’m nowhere near old) horse new tricks when it comes to the conditioning I’ve put upon myself that even my body fights when confronted with a situation that used to be deemed negative.
Now why does this make much of a difference? Does it sound like I’m complaining about such a 1st world problem because I have nothing better to say?? Nay, I say to this; my quality of life is truly being affected. The things that I’ve come to learn throughout the years are also some of the things that happen to cause me the most stress. Understanding people is one example; I know I’m hard-pressed to want to associate with certain un-named personalities that fake their intelligence or overcompensate by dominating conversations constantly. I can’t bring myself to even say more than a few words to some people; it certainly leaves me looking like the asshole in certain circumstances.
Now some people would ask: why care? sometimes you have to be the asshole… Well, I’m at a serious point of being entirely aligned with my values, and spreading negativity isn’t on my list. Its from this point where I feel stuck; am I just tripping about getting old and crotchety?? Well, I ask this of you: when you’re so unmotivated to associate with certain personalities what helps you become motivated and stay respectful/positive?
I don’t need to act immature, bag on others, or just be annoyed by such things at this point in life; I’m in desperate need of actual motivation to be social even while focusing mostly on learning to appreciate everything. This affects me because I see a trend of myself becoming highly antisocial within a few years and I’d rather fight it with some facts because there’s no lying to myself that can keep this curmudgeonly-to-be 30 year old from giving up on any of my core values and regressing to a less mature state of mind…
Thanks in advance, I hope people take this somewhat seriously enough to respond with their opinions on the matter. Maybe I’m overlooking a few key points here(like usual…).
Edit: I’m just lacking my sense of humor… don’t mind me.