The Jewel of the Lotus

Cool meditation experience and some insight and guidance once the damn monkey brain stops chattering

Mah Butt Itches

A guided meditation gave me a vision of a woman dressed as a soldier (ala Mulan) and the same woman in a beautiful hasho serving tea. The woman died peacefully amongst a rice field.

In this vision, too, I saw opening and closing flowers – roses and lotuses – and rainbows. The last vision to come to me was two words: Kuan Yin.

After, I researched this. I knew the name from my Goddess oracle card deck but nothing else. Kuan Yin is a goddess to some. A Buddha to others. She is the embodiment of compassion, a boddhisatva who foregoes Nirvana until all souls are liberated.

Kuan Yin’s associations are tea, rice, and lotuses. Her crystal is the rose quartz, which I had started carrying with me the day before. Om Mani Padme Hum is associated with her. This has been one of my favorite chants for months.


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Suicide Prevention Month – My Story Part 3

I have no idea what a normal mom is, but I know I am not one.  Before, I was Super Mom and now I am some sort of odd hippie, zen, metal head mom.  I never allowed myself to believe I was a good or even decent mom.  I have six eyes watching me and … Continue reading Suicide Prevention Month – My Story Part 3

Suicide Prevention Month – My Story Pt 2

Suicide Prevention Month – My Story Pt 1 About 2 months ago, I was driving home and The Outsider by A Perfect Circle came on. It’s one of those songs that felt too close to home about myself.  I was singing and thinking how I had been punishing myself for everything that happened with my kids, my … Continue reading Suicide Prevention Month – My Story Pt 2