How to adult and not be an asshole


I will be adding more to this as I remember them.

1. When shaking someone’s hand (regardless of gender) grab firmly and look them in the eyes. First impressions are important and this will immediately establish respect. Alternatively you can grab their hand and try to start a wave dance. If they complete it they are cool. You’ll want them in your life. 50/50 chance they will just think you are weird.

2. If you need a job you have to commit to finding one. Make getting a job your job. Wake up really early 5-6. That’s when most hiring managers are awake and posting jobs. Get it in as soon as you can. Revise your resume to fit the job you are applying for. Nobody wants to wade through hundreds of applicants. They will most likely give the most attention to the first submissions.

3. Congrats! you have an interview. Practice as many interview questions as you can. You never know what they are going to ask you so it helps to be prepared. If you don’t have the experience for the job it’s important to stand out. The typical response is fine (i.e what do you think is your biggest flaw? ” I am a perfectionist and it bugs me that things can’t always be perfect”) But I’ve had a lot of success by leading with a G rated joke (i.e. what’s your greatest weakness? “kryptonite…. or cheesecake”) followed by a typical response. With some practice you can give off the illusion that you are a fun charismatic person.

4. If there is a conflict between two people get both sides before you have the right to throw shade. Most people like to embellish the truth or leave out certain facts when venting. So if you know both parties and want to add your two cents either get both sides or butt out.

5. If you smoke and someone around you seems visibly uncomfortable then stand away from them or do it later.

6. Stay humble. avoid looking down on anyone. There’s a good chance you can learn something positive from everyone you meet. Even kids.

7. Avoid blaming your problems on someone else. You are an adult now. No one else is responsible for you. If you make a mistake or get yourself into a bad situation you have no one to blame but yourself.

8. If you are having a frustrating day don’t take it out on somebody else. It’s toxic

9.Porn lowers your self esteem. CUT BACK.

10. Call your grandparents every once in a while. You never know how long they’ll have left.


person experience. 4chan.

Nelson Mandela
1990 South Africa

3 thoughts on “How to adult and not be an asshole

  1. Very true! I try to follow that advice. Okay, except for the getting up at six when I’m looking for a job, thing. Total fail on that. But I’ve been working for quite a while so I don’t have to worry as much.


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