When life gives you lemons….

So no one would believe this shit.

Its so unreal I have to share. Moving house to another city 3 and a half hours away. Decide to really sort it all so that it goes smoothly, coz I HATE moving with a passion. Book skip (large one and pay for same whilst scraping the barrel) but reckon, ‘hey, if I really clean garden up, I’ll get my deposit back)…

book van that I’m told will fit my stuff. Cool! Let’s rock this! NOT…

skip arrives and they’ve sent me the smallest one which no way will take my rubbish. 💥 boom no. 1.

Call skip hire to request the size I paid for, to be told that they don’t have any, so will issue a refund. Doesn’t solve my problem though, and I try keep my sense of humour, but feel my hair slightly rising….

i then go into ‘pretend’ mode, as I need to ‘always look on the bright side of life ‘ lest my lover called ‘bipolar ‘goes into full tilt mode….

Van arrives. Too small for stuff.  They make 2 Trips, me having to pay twice, and still can’t carry the remaining 10 boxes. Oh joy…once again, I bite my lip, having no clue what to do next, as goods still at old house…boom no.2….

Buy 4G for iPad, as I am not yet connected to Internet. iPad starts to freak out, and I’ve got to keep rebooting. 💥 no.3

finger was cut over a year ago, cauterised, but opens up again, pouring blood! A capillary has been cut, but the smart nurse just superglued it, after I wait for 4 hours in A&E to see someone. Finger wrapped in towel to try contain bleeding. Happy that the superglue, although not ideal has stopped the bleeding, exhausted, I wobble on home. 💥 no.4

Take off jersey and finger starts bleeding again. Boom 💥 no.5

Have to somehow drive to dr. To sort this crap out. 💥 no.6

phone decides to not take messages till the day after they are sent, and keeps freezing. Boom 💥 no. 7.

Enough yet? No, didn’t think so. Get migraine and run out of meds, can’t drive to chemist due to stuffing  finger, and while waiting for chemist to answer phone, mine goes dead after waiting for over half an hour to be answered. Boom 💥 no.8

decide, ‘stuff this ‘ go back to bed, with only one hand working, so can’t shower, but at least have a bidet which I’m waiting to fuck out on me Boom 💥 no.9

That saying I’ve never quite understood ‘if u can’t beat them, join them’ pops into my head, as I’ve now totally detached, lost the plot. 😡

Realise, that I don’t need to find lemons, as I’m sure my face looks like one, with a permanent tight screwed up eyebrow look, at this stage, so guess if I just spit in a cup, I’ll have made lemonade!

🤔 You cannot make this shit up!



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