Taking a shower?

So here I was today, sitting in the Doctor’s surgery waiting for my monthly dose of ‘happy’ pills….when the receptionist tells me that they’ve ‘lost’ my script! Now, a normal persons reaction to this would be fairly calm I imagine, whilst they wait quietly for the ‘lost’ script to be found. But no, not me!

I have to go like a bull in a China shop, apeshit crazy and simply refuse to leave until they find said script. So I take a deep breath to calm a serious panic attack I feel coming on, coupled with a rising fury even Hitler would be afraid of, when suddenly the strangest question comes to mind – ‘what do we think about in the shower’? I know, odd right?

I seriously start to contemplate this. I mean, firstly, we ensure the temperature is just right. When satisfied we embark on the mission. Showering is supposed to be a pleasant soothing experience, not to mention that it cleans all the ‘bits’ (most important to have clean bits when in company)

. Okay then, what DO we think about?

Not the weather. It’s warm in here! Not the Ocean or Rivers. It’s wet in here! All the while we are not thinking about what’s ‘out there’, we simply slip into a space of perfect Peace  into what’s ‘in here’.

(unless we have to rush, in which case, mind goes into superman mode – wash, rinse, out!)

As we gently and lovingly wash each part of our bodies, we become aware of how good it feels in here. We notice that we cannot hear any outside noise, which calms the senses and eases the mind. Many of us start to sing, purely out of joy!

We engage with our bodies, perhaps the only time we actually do engage with our bodies.

(unless we are ego maniacs who never stop thinking about the way we look)

Most of us become conscious of the magnificence of our bodies. We’re reminded of our ears as we wash them, without which we couldn’t hear,  but never think about them when we don’t. We’re reminded of our feet as we wash them, noticing the lines that cover the bottom of our feet,  and with every part of our body we wash, a new curiosity is born.

Women feel their breasts, whilst checking for any unwanted lumps (well they should anyhow), then move on to wash every other part (sometimes too thoroughly) loving the feeling of the warm water and the soft soap caressing their bodies, but never get fixated on any particular part (unless she’s a weirdo and has issues).…and then there’s the men.

Men get stuck on the ‘elephant in the shower’…..They’ve washed it a gazillion times, but it feels soooo good to soap that baby up, then stroke him down, as they marvel at their phallus, this organ of higher vertebrates, and I think that’s when the singing begins!

So actually, it can be said in the nicest way, that men don’t ‘think‘ about anything in particular, not in the shower at least. Rather, they ‘feel’, in and out of the shower! and women simply get down to business, washing what needs to be washed….but wait a minute!!..

Women get fixated on washing their faces which can take a long time. First there’s the special face wash that Hubby may NEVER touch, then comes the rinsing over and over, to be followed with an exfoliater that needs to be lovingly circled around the face over and over, hopefully removing all traces of minor bumps or spots, while waiting for the hair conditioner to do it’s time, it’s job! (this is serious stuff here) and finally, she’s done. Shew! that took it’s time.

But what really confuses me, is that if a woman has long hair that takes longer to wash, rinse and condition, whilst men have shorter hair, which cannot take that long to wash and not need conditioning, plus women painstakingly wash and exfoliate their faces which also takes time……….why is it, that men generally take LONGER in the shower than women?

We’ve surmised that men don’t ‘think’ in the shower, unless they’re thinking about what to do with that ‘ol member when the shower’s over, in which case, they’ll hurry the heck up! ( with all due respect for men and yay for the member!) whilst women have so much to do (as I said, serious stuff here) in the shower, especially to their faces, due to the media convincing them that if they use a certain product, they won’t age….yeah right!

So what is actually being thought about?

OK, nuff said….my script is finally ready, and I’ve done all the thinking OUT of the shower for all of us!

We don’t ‘think’ in the shower. We enjoy the experience of touching our bodies, knowing we are lovingly cleaning ourselves, enjoying the zing of the warm water rushing over us, and this is an awesome feeling! We are vaguely curious about certain body parts – but no thinking required!

Enjoy your next shower,  don’t think about it….:)




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